Is Eye Candy Really So Wrong?

On one of my many treks across the internet in search of Vincent D’Onofrio, I happened across a comment in which someone suggested that an interviewer ask Vincent what he thought of message boards and blogs that post pictures of him and discuss his “physical attributes” instead of his work, and it was written in such a way that it was apparent that the author had a low opinion of said boards and blogs. The comment initially made me feel shallow and embarrassed for liking Vincent’s appearance, but then I rethought it. Regardless of what VDO fans post day to day, whether it be a dissection of his characters, praise for his community efforts outside of film, or, yes, a collection of pictures shared for VDO private fantasy enhancement, I think I speak for the majority of fans when I say that first and foremost, we are all held together by his amazing ability to portray characters, and that his body (which, depending on the movie, he isn’t exactly shy about showing off) is a great bonus.

Personally, my addiction started with his talent first; my attraction to his appearance came as I discovered more and more of his work. I’ve always had a soft spot for characters that are not only mentally unbalanced but believable, and Vincent can play those roles with frightening realism. For the sake of continuity (because he’s in both of my previous posts), I’ll bring up Moriarty. Yes, he was theatrical, larger-than-life, diabolical in the over-the-top way that only archvillains can be (and even if critics didn’t like that, I did), but only Vincent could add that extra degree of subtly that made Moriarty more than the standard villain. What I’m referring to is Moriarty’s clinical curiosity. In the scenes where Moriarty uses Sherlock as a human guinea pig, he is being evil and sadistic, sure, but there are moments where you can see in his face and behavior that he sincerely hopes to get something legitimate out of what he is doing. Now, I may be reading too much into this, but here are three examples:

Moriarty dipping down to watch Sherlock’s face after giving him the first injection



Moriarty telling Sherlock that he would be grateful for street name suggestions for the drug



Moriarty looking between Sherlock and his pocket watch after injecting him the second time



These moments are brief, but they seem to be genuine breaks in Moriarty’s façade to something truly disturbing underneath. Yes, he is trying to kill his nemesis in an unnecessarily complicated way (like any good archvillain), but he actually plans to learn something from it! It’s delightful realizations like this that keep me coming back to Vincent’s roles for more and more. His broad 6’4” frame, his expressive hands, and his radiant smile just make it that much more enjoyable. Besides, when he has played characters who do things like this:



and this:



and even this:



. . . can the author of that comment blame people for looking at him sexually? Never mind his characters in “Hotel Paradise” and “Guy.” I have yet to see either of the films, but based off the screenshots I’ve seen, he undeniably spends time naked and “engaging” his co-stars on camera.

So just because Vincent’s fans post eye candy doesn’t mean that they don’t think beyond what’s under his clothing. The pics (and the reactions they provoke) are just part of the celebration for all things VDO. That being said, one last piece of eye candy:



So close you can taste him!

On Moriarty

In my previous post, I mentioned how Vincent always plays a great role regardless of the quality of the film he's in. Admittedly, I only went into detail about where "Sherlock: Case of Evil" was less than stellar. So for this post, now the fun part: why Vincent was great as Moriarty.

Despite his very limited screen time, Moriarty is memorable as a classic archvillain. Why? Time for a list!

1. Badass taste in clothing. Moriarty dresses more uniquely than any other character in the film. Whether he's faking his own death, shooting Sherlock full of heroin, or having a swordfight, Moriarty dresses to the nines in top hats, silk cravats, patterned vests, and an overcoat big enough to double as a parachute. Oh yeah, and don't forget the sideburns.



2. Evil monologues. No villain is truly classic unless he gives evil speeches detailing his plans for world domination or announcing that he is about to do something. Even Sherlock knows this. Below, from the movie:

Moriarty: I’m sure you’ll be interested in my latest discovery.
Sherlock: A new alkaloid of morphine, perhaps?
Moriarty: Again, I’m impressed.
Sherlock: Dr. Watson found traces in the brain stems of each of your victims.
Moriarty: Seems your newfound friend is not as dull as he looks. Did he tell you how the drug worked?
Sherlock: No. But I’m sure you’re going to.

Oh, and he does. Then he shoots a syringe-ful of it into Sherlock in the name of science.

Which brings me to,


3. Ego. Moriarty can never do anything the easy way; he likes to show off. Faking his own death, having opium dealers murdered yet purposely leaving clues behind, trying to kill Sherlock slowly with heroin when a bullet is much more effective . . . all parts of an elaborate master plan to make money and assert himself as a criminal genius. But mostly, he seems to enjoy being brilliant and rubbing Sherlock’s nose in it.



4. Theatrical Idiosyncrasies. Giant overcoat aside, Moriarty behaves larger-than-life.

The way he enters a room,

holds a syringe in his mouth,


cocks an eyebrow,

holds his hands out,

and even how he stands

makes him wonderfully memorable and a classic archvillain.

And finally,


5. Unkillable. With more lives than a cat, archvillains refuse to die, and Moriarty is no exception. Over the course of an hour and a half long film, Moriarty gets shot, falls into a sewer, gets shot again, gets stabbed, and falls out a clock tower. But you just know that he’ll be back. Again and again and again. Like Nicole Wallace but so much more fun to watch.

On "Sherlock: Case of Evil"

"Sherlock: Case of Evil" is a prime example of how Vincent D'Onofrio makes every character he plays interesting, no matter what project he is in. Vincent is great to watch and Moriarty is a real card, but the movie as a whole could have been so much better. "Sherlock" was made for television, which seems to be it's best defense for why it feels rushed and lacks depth in many places. I truly need to sit down and re-watch parts of it (and not just the ones with Vincent) to make sure that my opinions are not unwarranted, but some things about the movie made me scratch my head and others made me laugh when I don't think I was supposed to. The main example that comes to mind is Sherlock's flashback and his hatred for Moriarty. Love the visuals, love Vincent's poses, love how Moriarty wears his top hat crooked. But every time Sherlock references the flashback and complains about how Moriarty destroyed his and his brother's lives, I want more details because the flashback in itself doesn't seem to provide enough.

In the flashback, Sherlock is 12 years old, walking through a house (his family's? Moriarty's?), and stumbles upon the good doctor shooting up Mycroft (Sherlock's brother) with something that is making him very happy and very high. But something happens and Mycroft starts having a seizure. Moriarty gets a brief clinical "hm" look on his face, then turns to the shocked boy and tells him "Run along, Sherlock." When Sherlock doesn't listen, Moriarty shouts "Go!", watches the boy walk out, then puts down the used syringe, picks up a new one, and goes back to Mycroft.

What makes me laugh and shake my head at all this is that Mycroft seemed to be a willing participant. He wasn't bound, he wasn't fighting. So . . . Mycroft had requested Moriarty? Or at the very least requested someone who had access to mood altering drugs? There's so many ways to interpret that scene. My favorite, though, is that Mycroft wanted to dabble in addictive substances, Moriarty provided, and Mycroft had an unexpected reaction that crippled him for life. But because Moriarty happens to be an evil criminal mastermind now, it's all his fault.

Sherlock: We must stop Professor Moriarty, Watson.
Watson: Of course, he's the most evil man in London. He's
killed 30 people and never been caught by the police.
Sherlock: Pfft, nevermind that. When I was 12, my brother
wanted to get high and got paralyzed instead.
Watson: What does the professor have to do with that?
Sherlock: He gave the drugs to my brother.
Watson: Did he do so in malice? You know, we live in the 19th century. Mercury is still considered a cure-all.
Sherlock: I don't know. I can't remember that part. But
he needs to die.

Ah, well. I guess only Moriarty knows the truth. And he certainly would never tell. He likes notoriety far too much.